What to talk about when no one-man crime sprees are signing today...

Well, after my epic rant yesterday I've found myself at a bit of a loss as to what topic I should breach today in Bengaldom.

After much thought and a little bit of fasting, I've decided to follow Hobson's lead and talk about the 2008 Bengals offense, seventeen days before the 2008 kickoff in Baltimore. I will break down the defense in similar fashion on the next day in which no major happenings come to pass.

And no, I didn't really fast, so don't go worrying about my rumbly tumbly. That was for dramatic effect.

Seventeen days before the season, this is what the Bengals' offense looks like.

QB: C. Palmer, R. Fitzpatrick, J. Rowe, J. Palmer (probably cut).

One of two positions I actually find myself unconcerned about, I retain my view that as long as Palmer is under center our window for a Championship is open...if only a sliver. Ryan Fitzpatrick has shown great poise (and a surprising pair of legs) this preseason, so at least for this coming year your humble blogger here won't have to be put on watch if Palmer goes down to injury. You might want to keep your distance as anything in my immediate area would become a projectile if that were the case, but I think Fitz would step in at least as well as Kitna did in 2005. If the team hadn't imploded in the second half of that football game (largely because of Chad's halftime impression of Randy the Macho Man Savage, in all likelihood), I sincerely believe that Kitna may have led them to a second playoff victory even if it ended after that. Palmer will be fine, and Fitz can get it done in Palmer's absence at least for a spell.

Rowe has looked terrible, and none of us currently know how Little Palmer looks because he hasn't gotten any kind of opportunity to show what he's got against a different colored uniform. I believe that if Little Palmer got any significant number of snaps that Rowe would be a vapor trail, but at this point it looks like it will go Palmer, Fitz, Rowe with Little Palmer either going to the practice squad or the waiver wire.

Verdict: 3 roster spots, Not Worried

Total roster spots dedicated to offense so far: 3

RB: C. Perry, K. Watson, D. Dorsey, R. Johnson, Ja. Johnson (PS).

Hobson echoes Marvin Lewis' presser today saying that were the season to start today, Chris Perry would be your starting running back. And yet, for some reason, Rudi Johnson will still not suit up Saturday night. If Rudi wants to bequeath his starting job to Perry, that's fine by me as Perry has looked out of this world in the two preseason games so far this year. Worst case scenario is Perry will get hurt again (I'm not wishing for it, and I just knocked on my desktop!), and we'll be down to Rudi, Watson and Dorsey again. Perhaps at that point James Johnson would be called up from the practice squad if he isn't claimed by another team at that point. As a matter of fact, I personally wonder if the reason we haven't seen long stretches of Johnson in the preseason, as that's how we lost Dorsey in the first place.

I don't want to see Dorsey for any long stretches due to his proclivity to cough up the football, but he is very quick. Additionally, I still maintain that if Bratkowski were creative enough to put Dorsey and Rudi/Kenny/Perry in a split backfield, it would open up a major window of opportunity to take advantage of a defense. I'm still puzzled by the fact that Rudi isn't on the field yet, though. The silver lining of course is that while Chris Perry is healthy and running through folk...I don't WANT the Rudi we saw last year on the field. Sure, he looked great in training camp before he came up lame at 230 lbs, but his hurting hammy (see that alliteration?) succeeded in a HOF-worthy 2.9 ypc last year. No thanks.

And you can trust me on this one: If we see the Rudi Johnson of last year and the coaching staff leaves him in there game after game to dance around behind the offensive line again instead putting Watson or a healthy Perry in to hit the holes hard, I'm going to change my nickname to Norman Bates, Bengals Fan.

Verdict: 4 roster spots, More than a little worried.

Total roster spots dedicated to offense so far: 7

FB: D. Coats, Je. Johnson.

We'll apparently see the "rejuvenated" Jeremi Johnson Saturday night. IF, and I do mean IF, he is ready to play it will be a major boon for the running game. Dan Coats has his ups and downs right now as anyone new to a position would and may be a very good fullback in the future, but there is no question that Johnson in football shape is a much, much better option.

Verdict: 1 roster spot, A little worried.

Total roster spots dedicated to offense so far: 8

TE: R. Kelly, B. Utecht, D. Coats, M. Sherry (PS).

Reggie Kelly will never not be the best blocking tight end in football. When opposing defensive coordinators have to take your TE into account by thinking of him as an extra tackle, you've got that part of it licked. Ben Utecht has shown he is likely to be what he thought/hoped he would be. He'll probably drop a ball or two, but I'm confident that the longer he's working with Carson Palmer and the better report they build the less that will happen. I don't see him having the dropsies all season.

Matt Sherry will be on the practice squad, which means the only spot I'm unsure of is Dan Coats. If Jeremi Johnson takes his job back as it appears he might, Coats is likely to hang around for FB insurance and teams play.

Verdict: 3 roster spots, Not Worried

Total roster spots dedicated to offense so far: 11

O-line: L. Jones LT, A. Whitworth LG, E. Ghiaciuc C, B. Williams RG, S. Andrews RT, W. Anderson RT, A. Collins LT, N. Livings LG (PS), K. Cook C (PS?), S. Kooistra RG, J. Blair RG (cut), D. Upresa RT (cut).

It sounds as if the Jurassic Line may be "emergency only" after all, judging by Marvin Lewis' comments today. This is not a move I agree with, but hey...I don't call the shots.

Obviously.

Okay, by far the biggest group to break down. I'll go with what I don't feel good about first, followed up by what is giving me warm fuzzies.

Concerns: Eric Ghiaciuc still hasn't kicked his knack for being picked up and deposited into the backfield, and the coaching staff is too stubborn to relegate him to second-string to let the Jurassic Line take enough snaps together to be cohesive. Levi and Stacey each got beat like a drum Sunday night. Kyle Cook isn't anywhere near ready to play on Sundays. Every incarnation of the line at some point let Carson Palmer get absolutely destroyed. We're investing eight million dollars this year into a player who has no desire to be here next year. Let me know if I missed anything in your comments.

Warm Fuzzies: Anthony Collins is looking good and should be able to hold his own if Levi is shelved. Scott Kooistra has always been a solid backup. Big Willie should be ready to take over his traditional spot at RT at any time if Andrews collapses or gets injured.

Perhaps what worries me the most is the fear that Kyle Cook will be kept on the roster as the backup center due to the "No Jurassic Line" policy and Anthony Collins sent to the practice squad, where I have no doubt he will go directly onto another team's 53-man roster (for an object lesson, see Toeaina, M). Running with only five wide receivers to give up a ninth roster spot for the offensive line just isn't happening, partly due to the injury plagued receiving corps and partly due to Mike Brown's philosophy that skill players are more important than the trenches.

Verdict: 8 roster spots. Very, very worried. (Jones, Whit, Ghiaciuc, Bobbie and Stacey are your starters, Collins, Big Willie and Kooistra are your backups, and Livings and possibly Cook go to the practice squad.)

Total roster spots dedicated to offense so far: 19

WR: Chad Johnson*, T.J. Houshmandzadeh*, Jerome Simpson, Antonio Chatman, Marcus Maxwell*, Andre Caldwell*, Mario Urrutia (PS), Maurice Purify (cut), Glenn Holt, Chris Henry** (Clyde Logan is no longer on the depth chart at WR, though I haven't seen anything on his release)

*-injured
**-suspended for the first four games

Well, let's see here...Chad, T.J., Maxwell and Caldwell are all injured, and Henry won't be available until week 4. That leaves us until further notice with a receiving corps of Simpson, Chatman, Urrutia, Purify and Holt in no particular order. Saturday night will bring Jerome Simpson (who is supposedly developing slowly but had a very good game Sunday night) as the starter in Chad's place, Chatman starting in T.J.'s place, and I would assume that Glenn Holt will be the third receiver for the night. Boy, I really REALLY hope that the O-line can give Carson some time.

Let's look past that, however, to what we should see on the 53-man roster. Chad, T.J., Caldwell and Simpson are locks providing that Caldwell's foot won't put him on IR (he's ineligible for PUP because he has practiced this summer). The two remaining spots are sure to go to Chatman and Holt at this point with Maxwell shelved with a muscle tear, though I think Maxwell may have had the edge over Holt before his injury today.

Of course, one of the two who aren't locks will likely be losing their spot to Slim when he returns after week 4. My gut tells me it won't be Chatman, so Mr. Holt, you have my condolences in advance. You are the lucky man to lose his job to a career criminal.

Verdict: 6 roster spots, very close to being pretty doggone worried.

Total roster spots dedicated to offense: 25

Something else that I think could be considered to free up a roster spot enabling them to keep a ninth offensive lineman would be to give Brad St. Louis a shot at center. He is a very good long snapper, why wouldn't he be able to snap the ball five yards instead of fifteen? Any possibility of giving this a try in any fashion has long since passed us by, so at this point I'm just spitballing and being more creative than our ownership and coaching staff. Note: My friend mag over on ohiosportsfans.com (who used to play center) informed me how unlikely this move would ever be to pan out at all as long-snapping and center are two completely separate animals, so I thought it prudent to point out that this was mostly a case of me thinking WAY outside the box due to my practice-squad paranoia and fearing that in Brown's and the coaching staff's collective minds that Collins is not a lock. Losing Matt Toeaina last year really messed with my head.

No harm, no foul.

~

At the end of the day, I think this is what we take into the regular season on the offensive side of the ball.

QB: C. Palmer, R. Fitzpatrick, J. Rowe
RB: C. Perry, K. Watson, R. Johnson, D. Dorsey
FB: J. Johnson
TE: R. Kelly, B. Utecht, D. Coats
OL: L. Jones, A. Whitworth, E. Ghiaciuc, B. Williams, S. Andrews, A. Collins, W. Anderson, S. Kooistra
WR: C. Johnson, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, J. Simpson, A. Caldwell, G. Holt, A. Chatman.

PS: Ja. Johnson, M. Sherry, N. Livings, K. Cook, M. Urrutia

Sincerely,

A Pragmatic Bengals Fan



UPDATE: After the performance vs. the Saints and Carson's resulting busted beak, I would like to formally request the ability to upgrade my verdict of the offensive line from Very, Very Worried to HOLY FREAKING CRAP, WE'RE SCREWED.

Sorry about the lack of professionalism in the writing displayed there, but it's a fairly accurate assessment of my current mindset.