And now for something completely different...

I first saw this on ohiosportsfans.com. It is an honest to goodness real billboard which can currently be seen from I-75 in Covington, KY.

.

.

.

.

.

Folks, not enough hours are in a day for me to link you to all the reactions from around the web to the Chris Henry signing, which was made official tonight with two Bengals press conferences.

I'll just point you to the lists of links that David (just linked to his main page as he's got about three entries worth) and Kirkendall (who thankfully is NOT going away with Henry's arrival) have already posted.

.
~

.

Instead, I figured we'd look at the potential long-term ramifications of Mike Brown's insistence on being a "Redeemer" at all costs and making his head coach out to be a liar.

.

Incidentally, Carson Palmer who has publically defended Chris Henry on many occasions in the past had this to say:

.

Well, he didn't say anything.

.

No Comment.

.

From C. Trent's blog, we have Marvin's quotes here that show his immense displeasure with the situation, punctuated by his abrupt exit from the press conference after four plus minutes.

I say all that to say this (and I know I said I wasn't going to do a link list, but those were important enough to my overall point:

.

The chances of Marvin Lewis being the head coach of the 2009 Cincinnati Bengals are about as good as my chances of playing for the 2009 Cincinnati Bengals.

.

Folks, he's as good as gone. Mike Brown, through his innate inability to make solid (or even decent/justifiable) football decisions has likely driven away the most successful head coach under his watch by far. After five years Lewis is still over .500, largely due to the dream season of 2005 where for once all the pieces were in place at the same time.

.

So here I submit to you a list of the eight most likely candidates to call themself head coach of the 2009 Cincinnati Bengals. There will be a poll posted to the left of this entry shortly after its completion where you can make your choice. The first of which is Marvin Lewis, with reasoning why he might stay and affording you the opportunity to disagree with me in the poll.

1. Marvin Lewis: Lewis won't leave a job where he is largely held unaccountable for the team's failures, he won't be willing to give up a head coach's salary to rebuild his reputation elsewhere.
2. Mike Singletary: Only a coach in the NFL since 2005 and all in the 49ers organization, he has been Mike Nolan's assistant head coach on the defensive side of the ball since 2006. Will be a very good head coach when given the opportunity, which will be in 2009 or 2010 with one of many possible teams.
3. Mike Martz: Currently the Offensive Coordinator in San Francisco, many expect he's just biding his time until a team calls him up to head coach again.
4. Wade Phillips: One more one-and-done in the playoffs and it's the Jason Garrett show in Big D. Phillips should be available by this coming offseason at the latest, unless Dallas lives up to its lofty expectations. He's just keeping Garrett's seat warm.
5. Lane Kiffin: Don't know for sure whether or not he'll be available, but it's no secret there's no love lost between Kiffin and Al Davis. Doubtful he'd want to come to another franchise where he'll have no control.
6. Ron Rivera: Still viewed as a head coaching prospect, currently is the inside linebackers coach in San Diego. A bears fan who posts on cincybengals.com would tell us to stay away from him.
7. Paul Alexander: Current offensive line coach/assistant head coach for the Bengals. This is where the smart money is. Doubtful that Mike Brown will go outside the organization for anything ever again, in spite of the two very good hires he made in Zimmer and FitzGerald.
8. Bob Bratkowski: The only thing worse than not pressuring the man for his job when his playcalling has become so stale that most of us can call the play before it's run would be promoting him to head coach. Which of course, would mean may just be the best Mike Brown option.

I mean, what defensive coordinator doesn't fear the dreaded "run-run-pass-punt" playbook? If that doesn't get them, fear strikes their heart when he pulls the old fake reverse that's always good for an intimidating -3. Or how about a draw or a screen? Those always work. Fake reverses, draw plays, screen passes, and other plays of that ilk work on most football teams because a.) they're not expected, and b.) the team executes standard plays, so when a trick play is thrown in it catches everyone on the defense off guard. Brat runs the same tired stuff out week after week and when the regular football stuff doesn't work he's guaranteed to go to one of about three plays.

If you've ever seen the movie "The Comebacks," you know the scene toward the end of the movie during the big game where the head coach realizes the opposing coach knows his playbook?

So he shuts off the Xbox 360, where he's got the latest edition of Madden on the screen?

If you're a Bengals fan and you've seen that movie, you likely laughed and said "That's our Brat," same as I did.

Matter of fact, can we just can Marvin and make Brat the head coach now?

Sorry for the sidebar, rant over.

~

Some of you may be asking "Why not Bill Cowher?" I'll do you a favor and answer that right now...Bill Cowher would never, ever, ever, ever work for a team owned by one Mike Brown.

You know, where the bottom line and the nepotism play? I think that's how the song goes.

If you honestly want to know what I think, I don't think Brown would even give him a call because he knows Cowher wouldn't lay down.

I hope you all enjoyed the nineties, because we're staring them right in the face again.

Sincerely,

A Pragmatic Bengals Fan

EDIT: Again, I'm sorry for the randomly placed punctuation marks...blogger's doing its "no spacing whatsoever" trick to me again tonight.